First Day of School - Benjamin

Finally, FINALLY, Benjamin's first day of school arrived 11 days after Josie had started.  I would never have thought that in hindsight I would appreciate his delay.  But, as is most things in life that we lament at the time, I have to say that it all worked out for the best.
Benjamin is an interesting kid and so completely different than Josie in so many ways.  One major way is in his acceptance of new things.  He has always been fearful of and unwilling to try new things if that meant separating from us.  He has definitely gotten better through the years but during his first year of co-op preschool (where I "worked" in his classroom one day a week and one day he was supposed to go solo) I had to sit in the hallway so that he could see me during my non working day just so he didn't freak out. 

Marty and I talked a lot about this and knew that we really could have just "ripped the band aid off" so to speak and let him cry it out with the hope that this would get him over this fear quicker but Benjamin really did seem traumatized by it.  I wasn't working and had the time to sit there with him at co-op preschool and so many other activities so we chose to SLLLOOOWWWLLLY let him discover that he really is capable of doing new things by himself.  He has most definitely gotten better and better every year but the beginnings of things are still quite hard for him.  He doesn't like to change his routine or venture out of his comfort zone.  Even just a few weeks before we left for Germany he had a week -long summer camp (that he chose himself) and the first morning of camp was a battle to get him in the car.
So, all of this is to say that I was imagining quite a battle on the first day of school in a new country and new school where he knew NO ONE.  And to my complete and utter surprise (and JOY) he got himself up the morning of the first day.  And was already have dressed when he walked downstairs for breakfast.  One his own.  No pushing or cajoling or bribing.  He was doing this by himself.  And it was amazing.

Not once did he show any sign of bolting (which was his M.O. in the past - I can't even count how many times I had to chase him around the house or yard trying to get him in the damn car!!) but this time he hopped on his bike, clipped his helmet and we were off.  I'm still in shock.

Because he started school late they arranged for all of the new students (apparently this was the same day that most of the other kids on the waiting list were also starting) to meet with their teacher for 10 minutes before the school day started.
Benjamin's teacher could not have been nicer or more caring.  She, like Josie's teacher, is a German and a veteran.  She has been teaching at JFK for 30 years!!! She started her career there and never wanted to leave.  She took a few minutes with us to answer any questions, tell Benjamin where to put his things and where to sit.  And, there is another Benjamin in Benjamin's class.  What are the odds that both kids have another kid in their class with their name!!  So, he is Benjamim R.

Just before the bell rings, Josie says goodbye and runs up to her class.  Then the bell rings, signaling it is time for us to leave and Marty and I are feeling more nervous than Benjamin is... or so it seemed to us.  You could tell he was proud that he finally got in.  That he finally had something that was his and that he was going to own this!  The delayed start had to have played a part in this.  So, in the end I'm thankful for it.  And for the extra special time that he and I had for those two weeks that Josie was in school.  Oh, and Benjamin had a new shirt and he wasn't so sure about wearing it until he remembered that Marty had one that was nearly identical.  Benjamin said he'd wear his if Marty wore his.  Twins!!

Before we left him at school he said he wanted Marty to pick him up and have lunch with him.  Because he is dismissed at 1PM (Josie is at 3PM) he eats a "snack" at school and is expected to come home for lunch.  Or he can stay and buy school lunch if one of his parents is there with him.  Well, Marty didn't need any other motivation than food to say "sure" 

Marty said Benjamin was beaming and very proud of himself at pickup.  The boys ordered a pizza and Benjamin even got a Fanta to celebrate a successful first day. Yay!!  So, SO SO proud of him and so happy that both kids are both up and running at school.

Day Before School Stress

When I set out to write a blog about our year here in Germany I told myself that I couldn't just glorify it all and avoid writing about the hard times.  I know it might seem like I have only been talking about the good stuff and honestly it has been quite good here for us but we still fight, we still have bad nights of sleep (a lot for me, unfortunately) we still get headaches, the kids fall and cry and need band aids, Josie erupts in tears and yelling- often daily (hormones) as does Benjamin (his norm).  It is still just normal daily life.  But, the big things here are different and still exciting and I wonder if we are still in the honeymoon phase and how long that will last? I know these big exciting things like riding our bikes and walking and taking the bus and train everywhere are not going to be all that exciting once the cold, wet, snowy weather hits or they just become the normal for us.  But for now, the big things here still do seem better and more exciting.  Plus life seems simpler without so many distractions which is also nice but I wonder if after awhile we are going to miss those distractions.
In addition to promising myself that I'd write about the entire experience I also made an agreement with myself that I wouldn't worry too much about my writing.  I've never loved writing.  Journalism was my minor in college but once we got to the actual writing (mandatory newspaper staff) I hated it.  The pressure to put out a news story was terrible.  So, I've always felt self conscious and never confident in my writing.  I thought the blog would just be read by our close family as a way to keep up to date on us living so far away but now that I know so many people (and people I don't even know) are reading it I want to be a better writer but I know if I focus on the writing part instead of just the telling part I will stop... so, bear with the mistakes and the grammatical errors. I wish I could write like my good friend, Marjie.  I have been fortunate enough to travel on a few epic trips with her and her blogs are almost as good as going on the trip itself.  Not really, our travels together have been quite amazing, but she really does capture the essence of being somewhere else far better than I can.  Marjie, maybe you should come to Berlin to be my writing slave ;-) .  If you want to be swept away into another place and time click here  to read about our Cuba experience.

And here I am back to my blog and our bummer of an evening before Benjamin's first day of school.  We had some errands to run and laundry to do.  I haven't used the dryer since arriving and I'm loving the fresh, on the line dry smell and feel of our clothes.  Again, this will change once the weather changes, I'm guessing.

Benjamin really needed a hair cut so we headed out.  While we  were there Josie asked to get her hair cut.  She NEVER wants her hair cut but saw one of her classmates getting her hair cut just before Benjamin and I think was inspired.

They both look freshly shorn.
We had to go the grocery store and I can't even remember why but Marty and I barked at each other.  The kids were whining and we were all a bit frustrated with each other.  Just not a great day.  Marty had to get some work done so the kids and I met Julie at the playground by her house in the late afternoon.  In hindsight we probably just shouldn't have gone as it was a tight time frame.  Benjamin had a Minecraft Party Mode date with his best friend Callum and was really looking forward to doing that before his big first day.  We also had to get back home, dinner made and eaten and showers before the Minecrafting time so that he got to bed early enough.
But I figured going to the park would be a good way to let the kids run a bit which I also felt was important.  They had a great time.  Again, challenging playgrounds make for happy and self confident kids.

On the way home I'm trying to figure out what to make for dinner. Dinners here have been simpler but often times difficult for me to plan.  Benjamin is a big meat eater and just plain foods, in general.  Josie is a vegetarian and Marty and I could go either way but trending much more toward no meat at all.  So, dinners are hard.  I figured that since Benjamin loves Doners so much that I would just pick up one for him on our way home.  Our favorite place is right by the bus stop once we exit the Sbahn.  Josie has been wanting to take the bus all by herself and I'm not opposed it is just we are all typically together.  I told her once we get off the Sbahn she could take the bus by herself and Benjamin and I would order his doner and take the next bus.  Well, the doner place was very quick and we were able to hop on the same bus she was one.  She was FURIOUS that we didn't just wait for the next bus.  But the next bus wasn't due to come for another 10 minutes, I felt a time crunch and thought it was stupid to wait around for 10 minutes just so she could ride by herself!  Then a big fight erupted. Lots of tears from nearly all of us.  It wasn't pretty.  While trying to rush to get dinner ready I slammed my finger super hard in the dishwasher door. It was sliced and dripping blood.  This was not the calm and quiet night before the first day of school that I was imagining.  But we pulled together, we talked it out and had a family snug - which has always been our way of ending any kind of fight or disagreement.  Often times the kids (or even Marty and I) don't have the words to say I'm sorry but we call a family snug and no matter if you want to or not, when one of us calls a family snug you have to participate.  So, we family snugged, the kids took showers, we all ate dinner and Benjamin has his Minecraft time.  Oh, and I figured it was a good day to pull out the "big beer" while I made zucchini fritters for dinner (and warmed up Benjamin's doner) which also helped.

By the way, beer here comes in .33 liters which is roughly 12 oz.  Or in the larger .51 liters which is just over a pint.  Having to bike or walk your beer home in your backpack or bike basket makes you appreciate it all the more.  It was a good one.  The beer here is good but nothing like the tasty IPA's in Seattle, which I'm missing.
We were able to get into bed at a reasonable time with just a few "I can't sleep" nerves from Benjamin.

The Baltic Sea

We got up super early on Sunday morning.  Our train left the station at 8 but we thought we might need to get there early in case we needed to get seats or there was some delay or missed bus or train on the way to the main train station.  We haven't woken up to an alarm in 6 weeks so the 5:30 AM get up was rough.  Marty was raring to go... the rest of us were dragging.
The kids had time for a quick "Froop."  This is their new favorite yogurt.  Normally it is expensive but it has been on sale lately so Marty and Benjamin stocked up.  It is basically yogurt with fruit on the top - thus the name.  But clearly someone didn't do their research because all we can think about is 'poop'  The kids use it in sentences all the time.  "did you just froop"  "I'm going to froop my pants" "what is that froopy smell"  you get the idea.  So after a snack of one froop each we are on our way. We realize that since it is a Sunday and still quite early that the buses run really infrequently.  We have time to quickly walk the nearly one mile to the Sbahn to catch the next train or miss it and wait for the bus. Even though tired the kids were all in.  We alternated walking fast with jogging.  Marty and I had full packs for our day long trip, the kids were bare backed but still impressed that we all kicked it in and made it to the Sbahn with just one minute to spare.  Phew!
We take the Sbahn to the new and modern main Deutsche Bahn.  Once here we have time for a quick coffee and rolls and then head to get on our 2 hour train to the Baltic Sea.

Right on time the train pulls in and we sit in the luxurious upper seats.  It really feels like you are floating on air.  Marty is going on and on about how cool the German trains are and how quiet and clean they are and how amazing it is to sit up high the entire way to

the beach.  And not 10 minutes later the train slows and then comes to a full stop. In the middle of a corn field. Uh-oh. The conductor comes on and says that there is a problem with the engine.  They are going to try to fix it but if they can't we will have to turn back.  So much for the awesome German trains. Haha!
There is quite a bit of misunderstanding and chaos as the train gets pushed back to the nearest station, we deboard and follow the heard of people to another area of the platform to wait about 20 minutes for our train to arrive.  This one is not nearly as nice.  There is not upper seating but it doesn't matter we end up enjoying the view anyway.  The kids really are amazing travelers.  Marty and I decided that we would not bring screens on this trip mostly because we had to cart them around all day.  The kids didn't even ask once for them.

They entertained themselves with coloring books and puzzle/logic books.  We played quite a bit of cards (schafkopf) Within 2 hours we arrive in Warnemünde.  We get off and are greeted by an adorable beachside town.  We get something to eat and then head to the beach.  It isn't all that warm (low 70's) with partly cloudy skies.  This doesn't bother the kids at all.  They immediately strip and put their suits on and are in the water up to their necks in no time.

There are others swimming too and then there are people walking the beach in puffer coats.  
They play in the sand and water for several hours and then we realize the time and figure we probably should eat something before we head back on the 2+ hour train ride to Berlin.  We fill up on Italian food and Danish ice cream (apparently this town's specialty) and then board the train back for Berlin.    What a great, little weekend, day-long getaway.

I even found the perfect winter hat!  Haha...no, I did not buy it.  

We play many, many games of schafkopf on the way home.  

Saturday Day Dates

photo I sent to Josie to let her know we were safely
on the train.  She didn't care!!

We have gotten pretty used to our "Saturday Day Dates"  I've let go more and more on the screen time and trusting that they will be fine home without us.  Josie has her phone so we check in often....probably too often as she told me to "please stop texting. It is annoying" So then Marty asked her to call us every 30 minutes.  Which, of course, she did nearly right on the minute.
 This time we had to actually leave our town of Zehlendorf and head more into the center to buy our train tickets for our Sunday trip to the Baltic Sea.  Marty and I hopped on our bikes and made it to the Sbhan in no time.  It is amazing how much quicker you can get somewhere on a bike.  Especially since it is all so flat here.  We lock up our bikes at the train station just like hundreds of others have done that day and hope on the Sbahn.
We walk hand in hand through much of the city reminding each other that we are pretty happy with our life partner choices.  It is pretty incredible for us to remember that it was a long (or short) 13 years ago that we first travel through Europe together.  We were newly dating and we spent 2 weeks on what was mostly a road trip hitting Germany, Czech Republic, Austria, Slovenia, Croatia and Italy.  It was a whirlwind but so much easier to travel that quickly without kids.  At that time we both talked about our dream to live abroad for a year or two.  We talked of doing it individually because at the time we didn't know we would actually end up together... but I think even then we had a pretty good idea.  Looking back, it is likely that it was during this trip and talking about this very dream that confirmed our love and our desire to be married and partnered in life.  And now, to be realizing this shared dream is pretty spectacular.

OK... enough with the mushy stuff.  We find the place to buy the train tickets but it is closed on a Saturday.  Still shocking how many places close on the weekends.   I'm getting used to the fact that nearly everything is closed on Sundays but a lot are closed on Saturdays, too.  Anyway, we buy the tickets from the automated kiosk and set off to find lunch.  We come across this little falafel place called an imbiss, which is basically translated to a snack bar... but it is often so much more than that.  It turned out to be the VERY best falafel and chicken shawarma either of us have ever had.  And 9 € total. Jasmin, we will be back!!

When we get off the Sbahn in Zehlendorf we run right into the Saturday street market.  We are feeling footloose and fancy free on our Saturday day date so we even get ourselves a little treat.  A fresh lemon tart to share and currant flavored quark to take home for later. SO SO good.  They use currants here far more than we do and they are delish. Reminds me a lot of cranberries which I have always loved. The guy who sold us this told us that normally he would take a deposit for the glass container but that is too complicated so if we could please bring it back to him next Saturday, he would appreciate it.  I love our neighborhood.  We are really feeling a part of it lately.
That night Benjamin and Josie have another joy filled hour of playing Minecraft and talking (mostly yelling) with each other via Xbox.  To bed early on Saturday in preparation for our 5:30AM alarm clock to get us to the train station for our trip to the sea tomorrow.

Busy Days and Class President

I think I might be doing a little too much to fill up our days while Josie is at school.  On Friday Benjamin slept in past 9AM and was dead to the world until I woke him up.  It is going to be a rough awakening come Tuesday when he has to start getting up around 7 to go to school.
Josie has gotten used to riding her bike home and entertaining herself in the house while Marty is upstairs doing his radio show and Benjamin and I are somewhere out in the big city.  She seems to LOVE the freedom and Benjamin loves riding the trains and buses and I love not having to get in "screen time" fights every 5 minutes.  I know I'm not alone in the wanting to be out of the house if only to avoid this constant fight!
On Thursday we met up with a new(er) friend from the states, Hollis and her son, Quinn and went to the Game Science Center.
Not really knowing what to expect, we were pleasantly surprised.

The games were all unique and controlled by your body motion, or your eyes or your hands.  They weren't your typical video games.  Kind of like the Wasser Museum, a lot of it was intuitive.  Benjamin LOVED it.  And Quinn who is 13 but has two younger brothers really took Benjamin under his wing.  He had a much better time having a buddy to play with I'm sure.  There was this one game where there were balls in a platform type thing with part of the ball exposed.  The boys kicked or punched the balls to make the men on the screen move.  Talk about a good workout.

Benjamin was pure sweat after less than 30 minutes.  It is funny because one of the only things I remembered from the website was that it said "we have no A.C. in the center. Sorry for the inconvenience."  And I thought, how many days do they actually even need A. C.  Well, on Thursday it was one of the warmest and muggiest days we have had here.  It is interesting how not familiar we are with humidity coming from Seattle.  We have "wet" weather but do not have much humidity.  So, Benjamin was a sweat ball but was having so much fun.  After several hours we decide to start heading back to Zehlendorf.

This one was a virtual haircut
that sounded SO real!

 But on our way out the employee stops us and asks if we want to watch a Virtual Reality movie.   Then he clarifies that it is just a short 3 minute movie.  So the boys put on the devices and it was hilarious to watch as they appeared to be on drugs as they looked around expectantly and reached for nonexistent things.  So funny.

It takes longer to get home, as always with public transportation.  I'm thinking through what I can make quickly for dinner but when I get home Josie and Marty decide we should go out to eat at one of our new favorite Vietnamese restaurants, named Bao.  I'm so thankful that my entire family is now loving Vietnamese food the way I do.  WIN!! We sit outside because the outside seating is never reserved and the tiny restaurant is packed inside.  We nearly always prefer outside so it suites us well but I'm not sure what we will do in the winter as we are so NOT reservation people.  I notice that the people eating out are so relaxed.  It is a Thursday evening around 7 and people just seem chill.  I do think that they have the work/life balance figured out here.  They work hard but when they are done with work they are done.  There doesn't seem to be a constant checking in on email or work.  Their work day stops when they leave.  And then they chill. I can get behind that type of lifestyle. 

Friday is Benjamin's official last day of summer vacation - not counting the upcoming THREE day weekend 😉 so he decides he wants to go back to the zoo.  

Seriously, this will be our FIFTH time in nine days.  I'm pretty much over the zoo but whatever.  The way there and back are adventure enough I suppose. And what else are we going to do and being out of the house avoids huge fights over how much screen time he can have.  This time I tell Benjamin I will only go with him if he can guide us there.  No help from me.  And he was up for the challenge.  A couple of wrong turns off of the train that he eventually was able to right himself and in no time we were at the zoo... AGAIN!

He finds his favorite goat, who he has named "human lips" because he really does look like he has human lips.  We've visited so often, we know all of the petting zoo animals now.  They are like our pets.  

 We see the hippos "being fed" but they never were actually fed they all just took turns opening their HUGE mouths awaiting food.

When we get home from the zoo Josie tells us that she was voted "class president"  What?? Didn't even know she was running. Turns out it is more like class representative but whatever.  So INCREDIBLY proud of that girl!!  She has NOT ONCE given any indication that she is not liking it here or that the transition has been difficult for her.  I said it before but she really went into this move and starting a new school with a quiet confidence and grace.  And it has carried her through.  I know we will have ups and downs but the fact that she has left all of her really good friends and a school where she felt solidly grounded in order to move halfway around the world and to a new house, a new country and a new school with very little fanfare is amazing.  She has embraced all that is good about living over here and does not at all focus on the negatives.  

She gets up every morning for school with a smile on her face and an enthusiastic attitude.  I know she loves the freedom that living over here gives to kids at such a much younger age than in Seattle. She really has shown us that she is (and probably has been for awhile) capable of much more than we give her credit for.  We were talking to a couple today and they said that they feel like (or at least hope) that having this kind of freedom helps alleviate some of the rebellious teenage angst when kids are wanting to separate and have their own freedom.  We equate it a bit to the US's attitude toward alcohol and how it is not allowed until you are 21 and there are strict liquor laws everywhere.  Here,as in most of Europe, they are much much more free with regard to drinking alcohol. They grow up drinking beer, or in Italy wine, as part of their family meals.  It isn't treated as this sacred and prohibited thing so kids don't go hog wild when they are "finally" legal to drink it.  Even if our kids get a little bit of that teenage angst out of the way because of us living here it will be worth it.

Friday after dinner we decide to go for a bike ride through a local park.  We spent a lot of time trying to figure out why my bike lights don't work.  Bike lights are mandatory here and for good reason.   After a thorough inspection from my IT, electrical engineer, fix it guy,

Marty finally discovers that the wires were disconnected.  Most bikes here have these cool pedal powered lights that as you pedal you produce the energy you need to light up your front and bike lights.  This could very well be standard in Seattle too but since I'm not much of a biker I'd never seen these lights before and am quite impressed. When we left our house it was dusk and by the time we returned it was dark.  Our bike lights all worked for the return trip when we needed them.  I would have taken a photo but it was dark and we were biking but it would have been a pretty cool looking shot to see us blazing down our street, all 4 of us on our bikes with our lights.  It's the small things.
Oh, Marty found a couple of photos that he took as we were heading into the park: