Getting Out Despite the Heat

After three days of hibernation... or whatever it is called when you stay inside to avoid the heat.  Man, it has been HOT here.  I was going stir crazy.  I had to get out!!  Our friend, Hollis, invited us to join her and her three boys at a splash park in the center of Berlin.  We hadn't left our apartment (not much anyway) let alone our little town of Zehlendorf since our return to Berlin.  This was going to take some effort. We had to go get new bus/train cards.  The kids get a very discounted priced ones and Marty and I typically share a monthly pass as it covers all of us on the weekends which is typically when we use public transportation.
We hop the train and are pleased to not feel nearly as hot as we were anticipating.  It was still morning and you could tell things

were still heating up.  But I've realized that our top floor apartment really is warmer than the average space as we have huge windows (mostly South and Southwest facing) without proper sunblocking shades and so by the afternoon/evening our place is really cooking, even with the AC.
We arrive at the park and are also pleased to see there is plenty of shade and there is even a slight breeze.  The kids play in the only half functioning sprays at the park.  They climb on the fish and

 seem to be having a good time.  Marty notices the time and realizes he has to book it home in time for the show.  Josie decides there are just too many boys and is too hot to stay any longer.  Plus she knows if she goes with Marty the chances of them going to lunch together are pretty high.  And they did, in fact, go out to our new favorite Vietnamese restaurant.  I am absolutely loving the fact that both Marty and Josie are beginning to LOVE Vietnamese food nearly as much as I do.
Benjamin stays, reluctantly, - right now Marty is all the rage with kids.  I remember when they were younger it was me.  Not anymore.

It is Marty all day every day and as much of him as they can get.  I can't help but wonder if we moved here at just the right time in their lives to really establish a very strong bond with their father that they wouldn't have otherwise had the chance to do had we stayed in Seattle.  In Berlin, Marty has so much more time to spend with them.  He is present in ways he never had time nor energy to do or be in Seattle.  Because he isn'tconstantly tired from getting up at 4am and the life/work balance here is just more humane he has bonded with each of them in a beautiful way that most working parents don't get.

Anyway, Benjamin and I decide to stay a bit longer and then head to a burger joint that Hollis' boys like.  Burgers are one of Benjamin's favorite things and although people keep telling us that burgers have infiltrated  Berlin, we have yet to find one.  He was excited to have a real, American burger complete with skinny American french fries. Along with a little burger gummy candy which came in its own cute little to-go container.
On Friday we rode our bikes to the nearby Schlachtensee Lake.  It is a 15 minute bike ride.  Why did we wait nearly a week to ride our bikes there?  Laziness is my only answer.  It felt so SO good to submerge in the cool lake water.  Schlachtensee is the a bit bigger than Green Lake in Seattle (maybe one and a half)   So a bit bigger but VERY clean and swimmable.  We brought back two blow up inner tubes that we always bring with us on beach/pool vacations and the four of us share the 2 tubes and have a great time.  We have to inflate when we get there and deflate when we leave so that we can transport them on our bikes but it is all worth the hassle. No pics though as we were all too busy and happy to cool off in the water.
On the way home we stop by an Italian restaurant for lunch.  Beer for us and ice cream cones for the kids and we were back at our hot home with time to spare before Marty has to be on the radio show.  Life, even though hot, is pretty good.

Broiling in Berlin

We arrived after a LOOONNGG day/night/day of traveling.  The kids each slept a bit on the flight and during our 4 hour lay over in Cologne but I didn't sleep a wink.  For someone who likes traveling as much as I do it is amazing and quite sad that I have never mastered the skill of sleeping while in transit.
Out of character for us, we hired a taxi when we landed in Berlin as we just had too many bags and were too tired to do the commute on the bus/train.   We got to our apartment and walked in to a complete and utter hothouse.  We are the top floor apartment (4th floor) and it had been (and still was) very hot in Berlin.  I think when we arrived around 6PM it was still 90 degrees!  Our apartment had been closed for at least 24 hours (a friend rented it for the month we were gone but he left the night before) but even opening the windows didn't help much as there was absolutely no breeze. It was just hot, stuffy, stagnant air.
I remember when we were looking for a place to live back in October and someone told us to never rent a top floor apartment in Berlin because you will be boiling from May until October.  This seemed such an exaggeration.  How could a city like Berlin, being so far north, ever get that hot for so long to actually be annoying.  Well, they were right.  But they also qualified it with never rent a top floor apartment "unless it has AC" which fortunately for us our apartment does have.  It is probably as rare or even more rare in Berlin to have AC as it is in Seattle. It just typically hasn't gotten hot enough for long enough to warrant it. With climate change, global warming, whatever you want to call it even the biggest critics or naysayers have to see and feel that our planet is warming up year by year.  We were lucky in finding this top floor apartment that already had AC.  This apartment, although very nice and comfortable isn't really our style.  It is strangely fancy and feels a bit like living in a nice hotel.  It has its own sauna and whirlpool tub.  Everything is white - the walls the tile floors.  There are columns and palatial details in places.  But the "fancy AC" has been much appreciated. Even with AC the place took days to really cool down as the city just kept warming up and the air continued to be stagnant.
Once we offloaded our bags we were all a bit hungry, very tired but also a bit antsy.  We decided to pull our bikes out from the cellar where we had put them during our trip to Seattle.  We hopped on our bikes and rode to a nearby Vietnamese restaurant for dinner (or was it lunch or breakfast? Traveling for so long and across so many time zones messes you up) Even though we were all dragging our feet a bit at the outset of the ride we all by the end agreed it felt so good to move and the breeze we made on our bodies by biking felt so good.  The air, otherwise, didn't move at all.
For the next several days as we recovered from jet lat we really

didn't do much.  We unpacked our bags and rode to town to get groceries and a few other errands but we pretty much stayed inside.  We didn't run the AC all day or even half of the day.  We just used it in the bedrooms mainly.  Each room has its own unit which is nice but a lot like our Seattle home with the heat it feels wasteful to use it unless you are planning to be in that room for awhile.  Many hours were spent with all 4 of us in Benjamin's room lying on his single twin bed, all of us reading.  His room is the smallest and therefore gets the coolest the fastest.
Benjamin wore only underwear (a different pair each day) for 3 days straight claiming it was too hot to get dressed or  leave the apartment. I kind of agreed.  It was like we were stuck in a snow storm, only it was a heat storm.  Monday it was mid 90's Tuesday it was 102 and Wednesday back down to mid 90's.  Marty had to start back on his morning(Seattle)/afternoon(Berlin) radio show but other than that the kids and I read and played games and slowly got over jet lag.
A lot like arriving at our Seattle house, coming back to our apartment in Zehlendorf felt just like coming home.  I compared our first few days this year compared with our first few days last year and it is a night and day difference.  Last year this time we were bright eyed and fascinated by everything new and pretty much overwhelmed by all the things we didn't know yet (would Benjamin get into JFK if not where would he go? Would Josie like school? Would we make friends? Would we like it here?.)  We dreamed of what the year might hold and had plenty of doubts about our whole decision to pack up the family and move.  Plus, at that point we didn't even know if Marty would be able to do the radio show from here.  This time it was a lot like coming home to your "boring life" after an awesome vacation.   Heat wave and all, it was really nice to be back in Berlin.

Surreal in Seattle

Our vacation/visit/return to Seattle was nothing short of surreal.  Really, truly SURREAL.  Here is the definition of surreal, in case you are wondering: marked by the intense irrational reality of a dream; also: unbelievable, fantastic.  And that pretty much sums it up.

I had some reservations about us going home for the month knowing it might be difficult to return to Berlin, especially for Josie who sat pretty near the middle of the fence when we decided to stay another year.  Actually, she was

mostly on the side of the fence that was in the backyard of our West Seattle house to be honest.  She said she would sign on or another year but it was a bit begrudgingly.  I thought that a trip home to Seattle might make it pretty difficult for her to stay true to her word of agreeing to return.

We arrived in Seattle and we were all a bit awe struck by being "back".  Marty had returned twice during our year abroad for work related things but he didn't stay in our home, rather he stayed with his parents or his friend, Jodi. And he didn't come back with

all of us in tow which made it different.  But he had been back.  He had seen our house and seen West Seattle and connected with a few friends. The kids and I had not been back in nearly 12 full months.
As much as I traveled in my 20's I never was away from my home for more than 3 months without at least a brief trip home.
We all got wide eyed and nostalgic as we crossed the West Seattle bridge, despite our extreme exhaustion from being awake nearly 24 hours.  We turned onto our street and everything looked and felt exactly as we had left it.  Nothing looked different.  Nothing felt different.

We pulled up to our house and other than not having our garage door remote to open the garage door everything seemed the same.  We walked in and it felt like home. Really truly home.  It was weird, it was comforting and surreal but mostly it was just home. and as if we had never left.  We unloaded our bags and after bit of discussion, Josie and I hop in the car... so weird to just "hop in the car!!"  We drove up to Safeway just to buy a few things for dinner and breakfast the next morning.  The trip to the store was crazy.  In a lot of ways it just felt normal as I had been to this store 1,000's

of times in the past but the size of the store and the quantity and variety was a bit overwhelming.  As was the checker's friendliness and helpfulness.  I waited in wonder as the customer before me had a full on friendly conversation with the checker about her

upcoming weekend.  Going a year without hearing or seeing these friendly interactions between strangers, particularly in the grocery store, made me giggle.  When it was my turn to check out I

watched in amazement as they very slowly checked each of my items and BAGGED them into my bags.  It was so relaxing. It was so NOT stressful.  But it was awfully expensive. 

I'm not sure if the price of food and groceries in general had gone up during our year in Germany or if I was just used to the very low cost of living in Berlin.
Josie and I drive

home.  Benjamin was getting out of the bath which he decided he needed on his own, and Marty was already down for the count!
The next four weeks were filled with family and friends and wonderful moments of reconnecting.  It was probably the best 4 week vacation any of us had ever had.  Well, Marty had to work 3 of those weeks but other than having to get up at 4AM it felt a bit like a vacation for him too since being live in the studio with his team was much more fun than sitting alone in our bedroom in Berlin with the rest of the team just able to be viewed on computer

screens.   But from the first minute until the last we felt at home.  We felt like we belonged.  We felt comfortable and safe because we knew the norms and I don't think we were scolded, not

once,  by a stranger.  It was nice in all the ways being home is nice.  And in all of the very best ways it felt like we had never left.  Marty and I talked often about how our year in Berlin felt like a dream while we were in Seattle.  It was truly like it never actually happened.  We had memories of things and of course, if we truly thought about specific things we could remind ourselves of events that had happened during the year but it felt more like we had just gone on a two week vacation and now we were

back. It was sincerely one of the strangest things we have ever experienced.  It was as if our life in Berlin didn't exist - in the past or present or future.

During our first week back I doubted if we should be returning to Berlin for a second year.  Did we make a mistake by extending our adventure to include another year?  What would life look like if we just decided to stay put in Seattle?  There were a lot of emotions and thoughts going through my head. 

The kids were VERY happy to reconnect with friends and with their rooms and toys and things.  Marty and I relished in the ability to see family and friends and have meaningful conversations about the past year.

By week two Josie had a bit of a melt down and was in tears about not wanting to return to Berlin.  Marty and I had a heart to heart with her and were very honest about our own doubts about returning, too.  We all were LOVING our time in Seattle.

By week three something shifted in me and I was ready.  I was ready to admit that returning to Berlin was, indeed the best choice for us.  Marty, too.  We still had one more week in Seattle but it

felt good to know that we were on, what we felt to be, the right path for our family.  It is strange how strong a pull being home is on your heart and soul.  It was very VERY nice to fill up on everything we had missed and then feel good and ready to return. 

Josie was still a bit on the fence but never had another melt down and when it came down to it there was not one ounce of hesitation or regret.  She happily got up in the morning of our flight and didn't for

an instant give the impression that she was against us returning to Berlin.  Just to be clear if you don't know Josie, she is a lot like Marty and you never have to wonder what she is thinking or feeling. 

She always lets you know.  So, even though I worried she would be in tears for the entire flight back, she was great. More than great.  Just went along for the ride. The only time

Benjamin said he didn't want to return to Berlin was after a very fun day on Lake Washington with friends where he experienced being pulled on an inner tube behind a boat for the

first time and swimming and playing in the lake for hours.  After such a fun day he wanted to stay in Seattle forever... or at least as long as he could do that day again over and over!!  As with Josie we had to remind him and Josie

several times that comparing our year in Berlin with our July in Seattle was a bit unfair.  In July, there was no school, the weather was perfect, they both had endless playdates, were able to have several sleep overs, they both slept in until nearly 9 or 10AM every morning, we hung out with family and Josie was

really the belle of the ball after having been gone all year - all of her friends wanted to see her and she them.... but that wasn't real life and that most certainly would not look like our life every day for the

next 365 if we chose to stay and not return to Berlin.  So, despite a bit of mixed emotions, we all were sad to leave Seattle, our home and friends and family but ready for whatever this next year might bring.

Here is a brief and very incomplete list of what we did while in Seattle:

• 1 Ferry Ride
• 1 ER visit (6 stitches - he just fell while running through a park playing a geo caching game.  He was LOVING it right up until the fall - we went to urgent care in WS which of course was closed... why do all emergencies happen on a Sunday? Then to a downtown location which didn't exist despite google maps pointing us there, then to a clinic in a Walgreens... is this where our US healthcare has come?  In a lot of Bartells, Walgreens
  
  and other drug stores they have little walk in urgent care clinics.  They couldn't help us there because he was too young.  She called around to other urgent care centers close to us with no luck so off to Children's Hospital, which in the end was the best choice because they are so very good at what they do but it is no where convenient to where we live. He handled the 6 stitches like a champ!! 
• 1 trip to Target (0 Purchases - there is only so much we "need" and even less that we had room to take with us in our bags!)
• Dozens of play dates (for Benjamin it was mainly his two best buddies,  Callum and Oliver.  For Josie it was nearly ALL of her friends.  It was really sweet to see them reconnect as if no time had passed at all.  Her best friend, Elliott, was with her the most.  In addition: Ainsly, Eva, Ellis, Olivia, Grace, Nadia, Evelyn, Dahlia, Kyla, Kaylen, Elliot N, Ariana,.. I think that was it. 
  
  Oh and also a PEPS reunion of sorts with Boyan

  

  Taken when they were both around 2 or
  maybe just shy of 3.  SO SO cute!!

  
  
  
  (Josie's first kiss and boyfriend 😉) and Caroline as well as Jack, Cameron and Lola
  
  (who were visiting from LA)  She was never more than 12 hours without a friend by her side.    Marty and I were able to see quite a few friends as well. Not many pictures, though. 
  
  It is funny because there had been times when a year would go by without my seeing some of my closest friends.  Mostly after having two kids and just being less mobile.  But
  when I was home for just a month in between a year on each side of being away it gave us a all a bit more motivation to get together. So SO thankful for so many of our friends who came to us.  Who trekked through
  HOURS of notoriously bad Seattle traffic to visit with us or share a meal with us. I think only one of our get togethers took place outside of West Seattle.  SO  SOO thankful for our friends and family coming to us!!
  
• 25 pounds of raspberries picked and paid for (72 dollars worth!!!.)  Another 5 pounds, at least, picked and eaten off the vine.  We went, as per tradition, on
  
  
  
  Marty's birthday.  It happened to be the day after we arrived.  We were jet lagged and hungry.  Raspberries, ripe off the vine, never tasted so good!! 
• 6 separate kid sleep overs
  
• Miles of walking along Alki Beach
• Consumption of my body weight in chips, salsa and IPA beer.  I There were many days when that was my lunch and dinner. 
  
  Embarrassing, really.  
• Plethora of board games played
• 7 books read - all by the kids!
• Several house projects completed. 
  
  The renters took great care of the house however there are things that we normally do throughout the year that you really notice when  you arrive after a year
  
  away - namely yard work - LOTS and lots of yard work, windows washed, decks pressure washed among other things. 
• 2 family members moved to a safer and healthier living environment.  This wasn't even on our radar when we arrived in Seattle.  It all happened so fast and smoothly and Marty and I could not be more thankful - mostly to Liz and Ed who did nearly
  
  EVERYTHING.  Thank you!!!!!
• Many trips to Lincoln Park and Alki beach to fill up on seeing, smelling, wading/swimming in salt water.  Man, I really REALLY miss salt water in Germany.  We have lakes but it is just different. 
• 2 Trips to the trampoline park.  Thank you Kristie!!  Thank you Amy!!
  
• Hours of Water Tubing Fun on Lake Washington with Draper-Kunz clan.  Thank you!!!  Hoping to see you on this side of the world sometime soon. 
• Countless hours of conversation, catching up and laughter with family and friends. 

The first weekend we were home my entire (minus one) family came to our house to share in many meals, lots of drinks and even more fun conversation.  FUN!!  Hoping to make this a yearly tradition.  We just do not see each other enough. 

So thankful for the time in Seattle.  We left with a bit of sadness but mostly excitement for our year to come.  One thing this past year has taught us is that the year goes by SO fast and that more stays the same back at home than changes.  We know from this past visit that we can really just pick up right where we left off.  Here's to Berlin 2.0!!  What will this next year bring? 

Reflections

I've been wanting write a post kind of summing up this past year and my feelings and thoughts about our return trip to Seattle.  Well, it is 3PM on July 1st, we have just finished cleaning out our apartment (a friend is renting it while we are away), packing our final things for our flight out first thing in the morning, the kids are playing frisbee in the backyard with Marty, we are still expected at two different BBQs and a going away party later today and this evening and I'm finally finding a moment to sit down and write.
Unfortunately, my thoughts and my feelings are still completely jumbled and my emotions are all over the board.  Sadly, this post will also be all over the board I'm afraid but feel like I need to get it out now otherwise I never will.
Of course, without a doubt, we are all VERY excited to be heading to Seattle and not only going back to our home town but living our own home for the month. And yet I have been overwhelmed lately with feelings that I can't really place.  We aren't coming home for good, it is just a visit but we are coming 'home' and yet leaving our other 'home' so it does feel a bit strange.
A few months ago my British friend, Ali, was visiting and she knew we had planned to head back to Seattle and she asked me what I was going to stock up on there that I couldn't get here.  It got me thinking.  What have I really missed here?  Friends and family go without saying.  Obviously, we have missed so many special people.  We have made such great friends here. But they, in no way, replace our Seattle friends and family they are just a super nice addition.  The only things I think we will bring back with us is peanut butter, band aids - they kind of suck here, and yeah, a bunch of stuff for the kids from their rooms but nothing big.  Everything that I want or need, really we can get here.
I do miss my garbage disposal as they are not a thing here.  I miss being able to go to the grocery store and have small talk with people around me and not feel panicked when it is my turn to check out.  You would think that after a year here I would be used the the way they do grocery check out here.  Nope, still stresses me out.
It is funny because other than friends and family the things I'm most looking forward to  doing, seeing, experiencing while in Seattle are the things here that I have most enjoyed living without.  A car, certainly excites me a bit.  Not having one has been very top of the list for things I have loved about living here.  Living without a car forces you to MOVE.  Every single time we go anywhere it is an extra effort or more to get there.  I don't think there has been a day here where we haven't walked over 10,000 steps.  Even with a bus, there is walking.  Now that it is good weather we seldom ride the bus. Lately I have clocked in 10-20 miles of biking per day. Partly because the weather is so nice Marty and I have been going on longer bike rides to a further away lunch destination or some other further away errand and the other part is I'm just living my normal life.    We bike everywhere and while I LOVE it and it makes you interact with people and nature and it is a good decompression from one thing to the next I do think it will feel amazing to have a car for a bit.  To go to the grocery store or better yet Target or Bartells - oh, yeah, I'm coming for you!!!! and walk out to my car with a cart and load my car and then drive it home.  With things like a watermelon.  Oh, man!!  We haven't had watermelon (at least not at the house) since arriving because they are large and heavy.   Buying and trekking home with a hefty watermelon is nearly impossible.  So simple, so ordinary from my old life but so SO luxurious from the view point of this life.  And yet I know I buy more and normally stuff I don't really need when I have a car.  So, in just a small way, I'm feeling perplexed.
I love living in a much smaller apartment rather than our house in Seattle.  We are together more because there are just fewer places to escape to, there is less to clean and really, how big of a house does one really need.  And yet, I'm really looking forward to being in our big house.
And what if we love Seattle so much we don't want to return to Berlin?  Of course we are all excited about another year here but what if?  The honeymoon is over now.  We are settled.  We still love it but everything is no longer bright and sparkly and new and exciting the way it all was when we first arrived. What if there are things there we feel we don't want to leave... again.  They say that repatriating is harder than expatriating.  But what about this quasi- repatriating thing we will be doing?
Marty and I have talked extensively about all these feelings.  It is a strange, wonderful and crazy place to be to have these options on where to live and where to call 'home' even if temporarily.  We feel in a way, that we have trained and ran a marathon -this whole move to another country and figuring out the schools and the taxes and the grocery stores and Marty working his video job and his radio job from here... we were overwhelmed and exhausted a lot of the time but we did it and we feel like we did it really well but then what?  There really isn't another marathon I want to run.  It was like after I went Skydiving.  It was awesome but I never want to do it again.  Kind of like moving half way around the world.  We did it. We don't really need to try to do it again and move to Singapore or somewhere completely different.  I don't know the future but I can pretty assuredly say we will be living in Berlin or Seattle the rest of our lives.  We love it here but we also loved it in Seattle. So what will the future hold.

Well, we are now back from our BBQs and going away parties and it reminded us of how cool Berlin is and how lovely our friends are here.  Just adding more perplexity to an already perplexed head and heart filled with a lot of questions and feelings. Paths, so many of them.  It is exciting but also overwhelming.  I'm trying to just take it day by day and this day is nearly over.  We fly out in a few short hours....Seattle or bust.  Seems strange to say it.  More from Seattle hopefully.