Saturday Day Dates

Well this Saturday our Day Date took us out into the huge city and kept us for MUCH longer than we had anticipated.
But, before we left we had a huge family fight (fun!) Marty got so mad that he unplugged the Xbox and took it upstairs and threatened  to cancel our early birthday celebration for Josie the following day.  It was not pretty.  It was not fun.  But it is life sometimes.
Our kids seem to be learning new independence which is awesome but are slacking in other areas of responsibilities and are acting rather entitled lately.  It seems that they are adjusting to having more independence when they are out in public by acting like toddlers when they are home with us.  Maybe this is normal?  We don't know because we are also adjusting to the German/European way of life where children are given independence much, MUCH earlier than in the states.
They've been whining and crying and yelling at us and each other way more than normal over the past week.  I have to say that our fights are much less frequent here but more intense when they do happen.  Actually, everything feels more intense here.  Josie is turning 11 in less than 2 weeks and I can only assume her outbursts are partially, if not fully, hormonal.  I get it! I often feel the same way on the other end of the hormonal spectrum.  Benjamin seems exhausted much of the time.  I think we have been doing too much of everything since we arrived.  Trying to take it all in, trying to see and do too much and not allowing ourselves enough down time.  We also have been cutting each of the kids a lot of slack because moving is HARD.  Starting a new school is HARD.  Missing your friends is HARD.  Learning another language, culture and customs is HARD.  Not having the constant comfort of the familiar is HARD and trying to pretend everything is cool and nice and fun is hard sometimes.  So, we have cut them slack and then after awhile or nearly 8 weeks, we snapped.
We have always had an unwritten rule that we can have fights  but we don't run away from the fight we find a way to work through it.  Eventually, after the tears, we all had a nice conversation.  Josie said she is just tired from learning a new language and making new friends.  She is tired of trying to do everything right even though she's not sure what "right" is here.  She's tired of going to school all day and navigating a train and bus system by herself (even though she LOVES it) and that she is just tired.  And needs a break.  A break from her brother and a break from us and just to be without anything going on. In her room, by herself, preferably.   I'm pretty sure I was that way during preteen years.
Benjamin wasn't that eloquent but said that he will work on his whining and crying and will try to get off the Xbox or his screen the first time we ask.  He gets, at the most, 60 minutes a day and definitely has found other ways to entertain himself here but it is his very favorite thing to do and if we allowed him to he would be on a screen all day.   After our conversation we had a family snug, which is our way of saying "we are all good now"  And the kids were very excited to see us off.  They like our Saturday Day Dates as much, if not more, than we do.  They like to prove that they can handle things by themselves.  Josie likes to prove that she will, in fact, call or text us every 30 minutes like she has promised and they like to "be" without anyone telling them what to do or not to do.  Benjamin gets some screen time but not the entire time.

Marty and I rode our bikes down to the S-bahn and went in search of a bike basket and new bike seat for Josie.  This was one of the things that prompted the fight when we suggested the kids go with us on this errand since it was in fact, FOR Josie. The kids complained and whined and said why should we have to go?  But whatever, we worked through this and I get their desire to not be constantly going.  We head to one of the largest bike stores I have ever seen.  It was as big as one of the biggest REI's but everything dedicated to bikes.
Customers were riding everywhere throughout the store testing out the bikes.  There were folding bikes and cruising bikes and racing bikes and kid's bikes and some of the craziest contraptions to haul things (groceries, children, animals) with your bike.


And like most of our errands things end up taking longer than expected.  Then we had to go to the main train station to get our train tickets for the following day for Josie's early birthday celebration.  Then I was determined to find a pair of Birkenstocks for a friend and so we headed straight into the center of town.  We haven't been in the very center in a long time.  And especially not on a sunny Saturday the weekend before Octoberfest officially starts.  CRAZY!! 

The city was packed the trains were packed.  And, of course, everything just takes longer than you think.  So, we ended up being gone from the house for nearly 5 hours.  Which is by far the longest we have ever left them but they did just fine. 

Josie checked in with us right on the minute every,30 minutes. We texted a lot and they seemed to be having fun.  They actually get along better with each other when we are not here.  They built block towers together and did some drawing together.  And of course had some of their highly prized screen time but not as much as I would have predicted for us being gone that length of time.  She kept sending us pictures which reassured us everything was fine back home. We assumed if SHE was the one taking the photos and sending them and HE looks happy in the photos, all must be good.

We did find some treasures while we were out:

Popcorn!!  And at only 1.29 € per 500 grams, it was a bargain.  And we had lunch right under the television tower.

That night Benjamin was able to Skype his best friend in Seattle and wish him a happy birthday.  So sweet.   By the way, 7 year old boy conversation is HILARIOUS and a bit painful to listen to. 

They spent most of their time just staring at each other with some question prompting from both moms. Then they starting showing each other their Skylander figures and then they were rolling.  Happy Birthday, Callum!!